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Archives For November 30, 1999

May I come to your church?

Meredith Flynn —  October 17, 2013

pull quote_adamsCOMMENTARY | Nate Adams

Earlier this summer, I wrote about my desire to worship in every Illinois Baptist church. Even though it would take years and years of attending a new church every week, I can’t think of a better way to invest my Sundays than to meet, and listen to, and worship with, as many Illinois Baptists as possible.

Since writing about that desire, I’ve already been invited to worship in eight new churches for the first time on a Sunday morning. Some have been invitations to come and speak, and some have been invitations to simply join the church for worship, which I enjoy just as much. But I am so grateful for each of these churches that responded to my simple question, “May I come to your church?” with the same gracious answer: “Sure, we’d love to have you.”

It’s made me wonder how many people are asking that same question every week about your church or mine. They probably don’t ask it directly of us. In fact, they probably don’t even ask it out loud. But they drive past, or read about, or perhaps hear someone talking about our church. And they wonder what it would be like to go inside.

Of course, their question is really multiple questions. What exactly happens in there on Sunday mornings? How would I know where to go and when to do what? Would I know anyone, and do they know anything about me? How would I be treated? Would I like it? Would I want to go back? Do I know anyone who would go with me? What about my kids?

I think we would all like to answer the simple question, “May I come to your church?” positively and warmly. Of course we want new people to come to our church! But if we really expect it to happen, we have to realize that these “questions behind the question” reveal potential barriers that may be keeping people from taking the first step.

For example, my sons tell me that most people their age will not seriously consider attending a church that does not have a decent web site. It’s not necessarily that they are looking for a technologically sophisticated church. It’s just that their generation gathers information that way. Whether they’re trying to answer a trivia question or shop for the best price or consider attending a church, they usually go to the web first, to check things out.

An effective church web site can be a wonderful tool for helping people anonymously answer their questions about your church in advance. But some people are going to look to the newspaper, some to the phone book, and some are going to want to call the church on Saturday night. In other words, an effective, inviting church is going to do everything it can to answer the questions behind, “May I come to your church?” before they are ever asked out loud.

Of course, just as important as answering these questions in advance is answering them on site at the church, especially on Sunday. A first time guest to your church needs all kinds of help that your regular attenders don’t need.  That would seem obvious, but I am sometimes surprised at how difficult it is to find a church’s service time, or address, or directions. And even if the church is easy to find, it can be unclear where to park, or what door to enter, or where to go once you’re inside.

Fortunately, almost all of the churches I attend, even for the first time, do a great job of communicating in advance, and welcoming warmly when I arrive. And if I’ve not yet been to your church on a Sunday morning, I would still love to come and join you in worship. But far more important than my asking this question are the many people in your community who may be asking it silently every week: “May I come to your church?”

Nate Adams is executive director of the Illinois Baptist State Association.

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Climbing the same mountain again

Meredith Flynn —  September 26, 2013

Nates_column_0930COMMENTARY | Nate Adams

For several years now, my oldest son Caleb has been on a quest to climb the 58 tallest mountains in Colorado. They are known as “14ers,” because the summit of each one is at least 14,000 feet in elevation. I told him I would join him in this quest whenever I could, as long as my middle-aged legs and lungs hold out.

So this past summer, we were climbing again. And though I made it up and down six 14ers in about a week, only two of them were new conquests. Believe it or not, I chose to climb four of the mountains I had already climbed.

I know what you’re probably thinking. Why on earth climb the same mountains twice? The simple answer is that, this time, we wanted to take some new climbers with us. Caleb married Laura last January, and was eager to share his love for mountain climbing with her. And while my wife Beth has been supportive of our climbing efforts over the years, she had never climbed a 14er with us.

So we chose mountains that were familiar, and that we believed our understudies could climb too. On the hike itself, we went slower than we normally would, and stopped to rest more often. Of course it took longer. Yet there was a new kind of joy in the climb, and a new kind of satisfaction at the summit, even though we had been there before.

During that same week, I was finalizing IBSA’s proposed goals for 2014, goals that were to be approved by the IBSA Board at their September meeting. For months already, we had been talking about the vital importance of leadership development, both for pastors and for other church leaders. Instruction and training are valuable, we reasoned, but moving leaders to new levels of effectiveness will require deeper processes of personal growth and development.

As I worked on those goals, I reflected on our experiences climbing mountains. Many times before, Caleb and I had returned from a hike and described to others its unique challenges and what was required to make it to the top and back. Often we had urged others to come with us to those new heights, of course explaining what they would need to endure to get there. But none of that talk “about” hiking could compare with the experience of actually walking together, in relationship, up a mountain some of us had already climbed.

So one evening with tired legs at the bottom of a mountain, I drafted a new 2014 goal for IBSA about Leadership Development. The first part of the goal describes the more than 20,000 trainings IBSA delivers every year, in areas ranging from Sunday School to evangelism to worship leadership and student ministry. But the second half of our new Leadership Development goal says we will “engage at least 200 pastors, staff, church planters or leaders in spiritual, relational leadership development processes, striving for breakthrough growth in leaders that helps transform churches and their effectiveness.”

The IBSA Board unanimously embraced this new goal, along with its implications.  Helping church leaders grow and develop at deeper, more transformational levels will require new processes, new commitments, and perhaps even some new venues and facilities.  For example, we will be exploring the feasibility of how both IBSA camps and a possible new leadership retreat center in Springfield may contribute to the “spiritual, relational leadership development” of our churches’ leaders.

There are many pastors and leaders who have climbed their own mountains in ministry, and who can help other pastors and leaders up those mountains.  We believe enlisting them in a more intentional leadership development process may be just what is needed for the “breakthrough growth” that “helps transform churches and their effectiveness.” After all, as I learned again this summer, helping someone else up a mountain you’ve already climbed can be even more satisfying than simply climbing it yourself.

Nate Adams is executive director of the Illinois Baptist State Association.

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Mission Illinois Week of Prayer: Day 8

Meredith Flynn —  September 22, 2013

MIO_blogDAY 8: Watch “Churches Together”

“Illinois is a mission field. It’s our mission field,” IBSA executive director Nate Adams said. But do Christians here really feel that responsibility?

“We simply have to have more aggressive evangelism, church planting, collegiate ministry, ministry centers – all these kinds of efforts to get out into the lostness of our state.” Illinois is a big state, and as believers, we are charged with sharing the Gospel here. At least two-thirds of Illinois residents don’t know Christ. And the lostness is concentrated in the urban centers.

1,000 churches and church plants comprise the Illinois Baptist State Association. IBSA can help churches “win lost people to Christ on their own mission field and in an Acts 1:8 ripple effect on the world,” Adams said. The impact of churches together is far greater than the sum of our individual efforts. Churches together advancing the Gospel can bring hope and faith to the 8 million or more lost people in our state.

Read: Matthew 12:38-41

Think: What is my personal responsibility for missions in Illinois?

Pray for the $475,000 goal of the 2013 mission offering. Pray we surpass the goal in order to expand our work. Pray about your commitment.

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What churches do together

Meredith Flynn —  September 5, 2013

MIO_blogCOMMENTARY | Nate Adams

Editor’s note: This column is the third in a three-part series, interpreting IBSA’s 2013 state mission offering theme statement: Mission Illinois – Churches Together, Advancing the Gospel. Read Part 1 and Part 2 here.

When Beth and I were first married, she was a third grade teacher and I was director of marketing at a Christian magazine publisher. It was always easy for me to explain to others what my wife did for a living; everyone knows what a teacher does. But when people asked Beth what I did, exactly, at Christianity Today, she usually simplified my role quite a bit by saying “You know those annoying little cards that fall out of magazines when you open them? He makes those.”

Now to me, what I did for a living seemed much more important and complicated than that. But I had to admit that, in 20 words or less, Beth gave the average person a pretty clear picture of my job. It was to get subscribers to our magazines.

In fact, my task of creating those “blow-in cards” was very similar to the challenge Beth faced in quickly telling people what I did. In just a couple of square inches, we had to tell prospective subscribers why they should spend $20 or more on a magazine subscription. By the time you printed a picture of the magazine and gave the subscriber space to write their name and address, you only had a sentence or two to describe what the magazine could do for them. It’s not always easy to deliver an important or powerful message in just a few words.

As we looked for just a few words to describe what “Mission Illinois” is and why we should all support the Mission Illinois Offering, we chose the words “Churches Together, Advancing the Gospel.” In two previous columns I wrote about the significance of the words “churches” and “together.” Some churches tend to mind their own business and do their own thing. But Mission Illinois describes churches that believe the same core, biblical doctrines, and that choose to work together for both the fellowship and the effectiveness that cooperation brings. And the noble cause that our cooperation serves is the advancement of the Gospel, both here in Illinois and around the world.

There are lots of good phrases that could follow “Churches Together…” and that would be true heart cries of Illinois Baptists. With equal enthusiasm we could say, “Believing the Bible” or “Seeking the Kingdom” or “Making Disciples of Jesus” or “Growing Stronger and Multiplying.”

But in the phrase “Advancing the Gospel” we have identified, at least for now, the few words that best summarize why we as churches choose, even in our autonomy, to sacrificially work together. We want to see the good news of the Gospel delivered lovingly and effectively to every person in our home mission field of Illinois. We want to see Bible-believing, disciple-making congregations established in every community of our state. And we want devoted Christians from those churches to go boldly into all their Acts 1:8 mission fields. The “ripple effect” image of our third Mission Illinois icon symbolizes the advance of the Gospel from local churches, throughout Illinois, to the ends of the earth.

When we place “Mission Illinois” in front of that phrase, we declare who we are as an association of churches, and what we intend to do together. It is our five-word “blow-in card” to one another, and to the world. We are not independent churches; we are interdependent churches. We are not doing the Great Commission alone; we are doing it together. And even if we do a lot more than can be quickly communicated in a few words, we will seek to do these few words above all others.

We will advance the Gospel.

Nate Adams is executive director of the Illinois Baptist State Association.

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Recommending the trustworthy

Meredith Flynn —  August 1, 2013

pull quote_ADAMS_augustCOMMENTARY | Nate Adams

This month two important committees will meet at the IBSA Building here in Springfield. Each typically meets only once per year, but when their jobs are done well, hours of preparation and follow up buttress those single meetings.

I’m referring to the IBSA Committee on Committees and the IBSA Nominating Committee. And it’s those hours of prayerful preparation prior to the meetings that deserve the attention and involvement of every one of us that understands what it takes for a thousand Baptist churches to work together here in Illinois.

You see, when IBSA churches cooperate, they give more than $6 million annually through the Cooperative Program, and they steward more than $9 million in annual resources through the IBSA budget. They provide a staff of around 40 to assist churches throughout the state in hundreds of different ways, and provide funding for dozens of church planters and other missions personnel.

Each year those churches provide the services of the Baptist Foundation of Illinois, and of Baptist Children’s Home and Family Services. They facilitate the operations of two statewide camps. They determine how much of their missions giving should go to the ministries of the national Southern Baptist Convention and how much should go to work here in Illinois.

And while the above only scratches the surface of their financial stewardship, IBSA churches work together to steward much more than money. They also steward the doctrinal and missional criteria for what it means to be a faithful, cooperating IBSA church. They set the riverbanks for how member churches will work together procedurally. They both preserve our history and seek to protect our future.

I could write much, much more about all our churches do together, but the more I would write, the more the question would emerge, “How do they do all that? How do a thousand diverse, geographically dispersed, busy churches of all sizes and styles work together to accomplish so much?”

As unglamorous or even mundane as it may sound, the answer to those questions, and the genius of how so many diverse churches are able to work together, is rooted in responsibilities like those of the Committee on Committees and the Nominating Committee. Year in and year out, these committees select trustworthy leaders who work within well-established processes to facilitate the near-miracle of cooperative missions among autonomous Baptist churches.

Have you guessed yet the point, the appeal, toward which I’m writing? This Great Commission system of cooperative missions depends on IBSA churches putting forth their most trustworthy, mature, and dependable members as candidates. The quality and effectiveness of our work together rises or falls on the servant leaders you recommend, whether from your church or from another.

This year’s deadline for submitting recommendations to these two important committees is August 9. You can download nomination forms quickly and easily from the home page article on http://www.IBSA.org. And you can read more there about the specific requirements of each IBSA committee or board. Or call Sandy Barnard at (217) 391-3107 for help submitting your nominations.

It’s been my privilege to work with some wonderful committee and board members over the past few years. But I’ve also observed that the number of churches supplying leaders for our committees and boards is fewer and less representative than it could be, and that each year we have far fewer recommendations than we have vacancies.

Between now and August 9, please consider recommending the most trustworthy servant leaders you know to serve on an IBSA committee or board. And be ready to say yes if you learn that someone has recommended you.

Nate Adams is executive director of the Illinois Baptist State Association.

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The music of marriage

Meredith Flynn —  July 8, 2013

pull quote_ADAMS_julyHEARTLAND | Nate Adams

One of the ways my wife, Beth, and I celebrated our anniversary this year was to watch the video of our wedding ceremony and reception. It’s been a few years since we’ve done that, and I found myself a little surprised by some of the things I saw and heard, and how they made me feel.

I was ready to see a bride and groom that looked very young, but I was taken back a little at the site of our parents. For example my dad, on my wedding day, was exactly the age I am now after 28 years of marriage.

Having recently performed my own son’s wedding ceremony, there was something about seeing my dad perform my wedding ceremony when he was my age that was a little unnerving. Has a generation passed already? Will the next generation pass that quickly?

During that nostalgic viewing, however, I found great encouragement in the music we chose for our wedding ceremony. Some of it was just fun, such as the piano recessional that was the Charlie Brown theme song from the Peanuts cartoon series. Some of it was serious and prayerful, such as the hymn that truly expressed the desire of our hearts, “Savior Like a Shepherd Lead Us.”

But there were two more contemporary duets that spoke freshly to me as we watched ourselves getting married a generation later, and wondered at how quickly time passes. Just after our vows to one another, we heard this musical encouragement for lasting fidelity from the Farrell and Farrell song, “After All Those Years.”

“After all those years, when our children have said goodbye, after all those years I’ll love you even more.”*

I first heard Farrell and Farrell sing that song at an IBSA-sponsored Youth Encounter in Springfield, Illinois. Its message stuck with me, as I knew even then that I wanted to marry someone who I would adore, even after the kids were grown and gone. We’re almost there now. And I do.

But there was another duet, “The Wedding Day” by Harvest, that also reassured me, and helped me reset my perspective on weddings, and generations, and how quickly time passes. It pointed to the Wedding Day that is much more important than any here on earth.

“We will fly away, when He hears His Father say, ‘Jesus, go and get your bride. Today’s your wedding day.’”**

I think I understand more fully now why music is so important in our worship. We the Church are indeed the bride of Christ, waiting with longing for our Bridegroom to come and make our relationship complete. On one hand, it seems we’ve been waiting a long time. But when we live by faith with the one we’ve chosen to adore, the years and the generations fly by quickly. And that’s okay.

The music of a Christian marriage can give us a wonderful picture and promise of love and fidelity that lasts, both in a marriage and in a relationship with God. Many of us are fortunate to have been blessed by that kind of marriage for years, even generations.  And all of us in the Bride of Christ, His church, are blessed by it from now through eternity.

Nate Adams is executive director of the Illinois Baptist State Association.

* “After All Those Years,” by Tim Sheppard, ©1982, Tim Sheppard Music Company
** “The Wedding Day,” by Brent Lamb, ©1981, Straightway Music

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Looking at where you’ve been

Meredith Flynn —  June 17, 2013

pull quote_ADAMSjuneHEARLTAND | Nate Adams

I would love to have the privilege of worshiping in every Illinois Baptist church. When I began with IBSA, I remember calculating that if I visited two churches a week, it would take about 10 years to get to all 1,000 churches. Visiting one new church per week is probably more realistic, but that would require 20 years, longer than any IBSA executive director has served.

But after seven years, I’ve learned it is more than time that limits the number of churches I can visit in a year. For one thing, I need to be in my home church at least occasionally, even if it’s only once a month. And then there are weeks when I must be out of the state, such as at the recent Southern Baptist Convention.

What would help me most of all to get acquainted with more churches, however, is simply an invitation. Sometimes people assume IBSA staff members are too busy to come to their church, or that their church is too small or too far away. That’s simply not true!

I absolutely love it when I receive an invitation to a church where I have never been before. The reality is that some churches tend to invite our staff to come over and over again, and of course we’re glad to do that too. But what really gets me pumped to drive on a Sunday morning is to know I’m going to meet some new people in a new place, even if I have to look up the town on a map to figure out where it is!

When I look at where I’ve been the past few years, I realize I could have been in a much higher percentage of IBSA churches. In fact, I would like to devote the next several months to worshiping in churches where I’ve never attended. If you pastor or attend one of those churches, please just invite me to come!

It doesn’t matter to me whether you need me to preach that day or not. I would enjoy worshiping with you and hearing a good sermon from an IBSA pastor just as much, if not more. Just invite me to church like I hope you do your neighbors every week!

That’s what I’ve been thinking recently as I’ve been “looking where I’ve been.” But let me also challenge you as a church to look where you’ve been as well.

When I get ready to visit a church for the first time, my assistant Sandy prints out for me the statistical history for that church, as well as the association it is in and directions, etc. These help me know a little about the setting into which I’m going.

Recently our director of information and support services, Drew Heironimus, has completed 20-year statistical summaries for every IBSA church. In other words, we can send you a brief report that shows your church’s worship and Sunday School attendance, baptisms, church program enrollments, missions giving, and more for the past 20 years. Recently my son Noah joined one of our church’s staff, and it’s the first thing he requested from IBSA. I guess he knew it’s easier to figure out where you need to go once you understand a little about where you’ve been.

Looking at where I’ve been these past few years makes me want to come to your church, especially if I’ve never been there before. Maybe looking at where you’ve been as a church over the past 20 years will give you some new insights, and new desires as well.

Nate Adams is executive director of the Illinois Baptist State Association.

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Going into the family business

Meredith Flynn —  May 23, 2013

pull quote_ADAMS_mayCOMMENTARY | Nate Adams

When our family went out for a celebration dinner recently, it was with a larger than normal group. In addition to my wife, Beth, and me and our three sons, we were accompanied by two grandmothers, two girlfriends, and one new daughter-in-law.

That made our party large enough for a reservation and special table at the local Olive Garden restaurant. And as the host led our tribe of 10 to its table, he asked, “So what are we celebrating tonight?”

We informed him that our middle son Noah had just graduated from college. Our host responded with congratulations, and another question, this time directed at the guest of honor: “So what was your major, son, and what comes next?”

Noah didn’t hesitate to tell the friendly man that he was a Christian Ministry major at Judson University, and that he would begin June 1 as the Youth and Associate Pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Elgin.

Our host’s final question took me by surprise. “And do I take it that you’re going into the family business?”

I looked again, more closely this time, at our host to see if I knew him, or if perhaps he knew someone in our family, but neither was the case. I guess he just noted the pride in my smile when Noah told him what he would be doing.

That didn’t stop my mom from treating him like an old friend. “Well, I would never have thought to describe it that way, but you’re right. His grandfather, my husband, was in ministry for years. And this is my son Nate, and he’s in ministry. So yes, I guess Noah is the third generation of ministers in this family, and that’s sort of like going into the family business.”

“I thought maybe that was the case,” our host replied with a smile, and then excused himself to leave us in the hands of our server.

That brief encounter left me thinking about what it means for someone to enter “the family business” of church ministry here in Illinois. My son and I certainly aren’t the first. From time to time I meet sons, grandkids, even great-grandkids of ministers here in Illinois who are now serving as pastors or other leaders in IBSA churches.

“Maybe you know my dad,” they often say. Or sometimes, “I don’t know if you knew my grandfather or not. He’s gone to be with the Lord now, but he served churches here in Illinois for years.”

When I meet multiple-generation Illinois Baptists like that, I usually find I’m in a church that is being blessed with a deeply committed leader, one who serves out of spiritual motivation, but also with a deep sense of family heritage. Their eyes twinkle with the idea that their dad or their granddad would be proud of their church leadership. They are building on the foundation of his life’s service. And they are often raising their own children with the hope that they will lead well in the church some day too.

Not every pastor’s child chooses to go into ministry, any more than every farmer’s child or every coal miner’s child or every teacher’s child chooses to follow in their parent’s footsteps. God leads us individually in our life callings, and the world needs devoted Christians in all walks of life. But there is something unique and meaningful, something to be uniquely celebrated, when church leadership becomes the multi-generational pattern of a family’s life.

Our server at Olive Garden that night didn’t know our family personally. But somehow he sensed that what we were celebrating that night was Christian, and church-related, and multi-generational, lasting, and special. And every time it happens here in Illinois, we should all celebrate.

Nate Adams is executive director of the Illinois Baptist State Association.

Nate Adams is executive director of the Illinois Baptist State Association. Respond to his column at IllinoisBaptist@IBSA.org.

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Turtle on a fence post

Meredith Flynn —  April 15, 2013

Turtle on Fence Post[3]HEARTLAND | Nate Adams

There is an old saying that if you ever see a turtle sitting on a fence post, you can be sure of one thing: It didn’t get there by itself.

As I begin my eighth year with IBSA, I identify very much with that turtle. On one hand, seven years is a long time, long enough for me to write more than 170 columns for The Illinois Baptist. On the other hand, my father Tom Adams wrote at least 850 columns here, over the course of 34 years. Like many of you, I read his insights on church life, Baptist life, and life in general for decades. So I still feel indebted to my dad for whatever perspective and service I have to offer IBSA churches.

It’s hard for me to think about my early days at IBSA without thinking about my dad. My mom tells me he was so excited about my coming back to Illinois, and to IBSA in particular, that he would fall asleep in his recliner with the Illinois Baptist in his lap, open to the article about my selection to serve here. And yet a month to the day after I started at IBSA, Dad passed away.

During these years since then, I have often thought how nice it would have been to have my dad around. He loved IBSA, and the Illinois Baptist, and the pastors and members of IBSA churches. Though he was basically quiet and introverted, he knew many, many people through his writing and ministry roles. He understood a lot about people and churches, how they work together, and why they sometimes don’t. Many times I have wished I could pick up the phone and ask him a question.

But it’s not like I’ve been without his help. Though my dad’s been gone for seven years now, I still rarely go into a church for the first time without someone telling me how much he or she appreciated his wisdom and his writing. Often they have a favorite column or two clipped and in their Bible. One dear lady told me she still has one framed and hanging over her desk at work. As often as not, these folks say they never met dad personally. But frequently they will say they felt as if they knew him.

Of course, if my dad ever heard anyone praising his writing, he would quickly point to Dr. Robert Hastings, who edited the Illinois Baptist for many years, and who was a wonderful writer as well. Dad frequently said that if Dr. Hastings hadn’t “taken a chance” on him as a young writer, he would never have had the opportunities or influence that he did.

And dad wouldn’t want to stop there. He would want me to point out that every column he scribbled by hand on a yellow pad of paper was typed up for publication by my mom, who added her own skilled editing and insight to the final product.

Of course my mom would want to point to her parents, and how they sacrificed for her education, and how their support of her made it possible for her to support my dad with her skills. And if my grandparents were here, well, I trust you get the point.

We are all turtles on our own fence posts, aren’t we? Whether it’s our parents, or the pastor or leader that served before us, or the faithful families that founded or sustained our church or that brought the Gospel to our area, none of us arrived at our places of service and opportunity without the help of others. We would do well to thank them when we have a chance, and to pledge to them that we will do the same for others. From my fence post today, thanks Dad.

Nate Adams is executive director of the Illinois Baptist State Association.

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Why we went to a Super Bowl party

Meredith Flynn —  February 4, 2013

SPE_034HEARTLAND | Nate Adams

Recently our neighbors invited us to a Super Bowl Party at their home. This isn’t the first year they have invited us, but it is the first time we said yes. I have to admit, though, that there were several reasons I wanted to say no.

First, of course it was on a Sunday. The afternoon game time meant I could easily get home from the church where I was speaking. But Sunday afternoon is usually a time when I can relax a little, have some personal time, and maybe even take a nap. I kind of wanted the option of falling asleep in front of the game, rather than socializing through it.

Second, the people that were inviting us aren’t very much like us, and we both knew that. Before offering the invitation, our neighbor asked, “Do you mind being around people who are drinking?” The invitation itself then came with assurances that there would be soft drinks available as well. I guess we’re known as “the Baptists on the block,” and most of our neighbors know I’m in full-time ministry.

Third, I wasn’t sure exactly what kind of position we might find ourselves in at this party. Who else would be there? Would we even find we had much in common to talk about? Would others wonder why we were there, especially after not coming in previous years, and would they be watching us for ways we might not fit in?

Finally, I wondered what kinds of other commitments might be asked of us as a result of this party. Did they need new workers for the neighborhood workday or workday? Would we now be asked to buy more wrapping paper or Girl Scout cookies from their kids?

I know, all those suspicions and phobias don’t sound very trusting, or even mature, do they? And yet as I reflected on all the reasons I wanted to tell our neighbors no once again, I realized that many of those same thoughts probably run through the mind of anyone who is invited to church by his or her neighbor.

When we invite our neighbors to church, we may feel like we are inviting them to a wonderful place where we have the richest worship experiences and deepest friendships of our lives. But in their minds we may be asking them to take a big slice of their most personal time and spend it with people they suspect are not very much like them, and who may press them for changes they’re not ready to make.

So instead of saying no to the Super Bowl party this year, we said yes. It wasn’t just because we empathized with how hard it is to invite someone to something. It was because our neighbor taught us something about the art of a sincere invitation.

First, she has gradually but consistently built a closer and more trusting relationship with us. I now believe she wouldn’t intentionally put us in an awkward or compromising position. She obviously knows we’re different than many of those who will be at the party, but she respects our values and looks for ways to accommodate them. She seems interested in us personally, and not with whether we will conform to others. And she has persistently and warmly invited us, even when we’ve always said no. Her invitation came from her heart.

There was one more thing. In saying yes this time, we also knew there would be at least three couples present for whom we’ve been praying, and looking for opportunities to share Christ. In fact one of those couples is our host. And in an ironic way, God has used the very neighbors for whom we’ve been praying to show us the art, and the heart, of a good invitation.

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