On same-sex marriage, ‘the Bible says’ isn’t enough for some

COMMENTARY | Mark Warnock

Editor’s note: Two Protestant denominations made important decisions on same-sex marriage this week. First, the Presbyterian Church USA narrowly defeated a motion to re-define marriage as being “between two people” instead of between a man and a woman. Then, the General Convention of The Episcopal Church approved a liturgy that can be used to bless same-sex unions during commitment services. Churches and denominations have traditionally opposed same-sex marriage, but as the lines become more and more blurry, columnist Mark Warnock looks at some ways Christians can answer the question: “Why do you believe what you believe?”

In the political discussion over same-sex marriage, religious views are almost always sidelined. Separation of church and state means, we are told, that religious reasons do not count. So when Christians talk in public about the Bible’s clear case against same-sex marriage, our position is dismissed as “religious” and therefore irrelevant.

But most people are deeply conflicted about same-sex marriage, especially in the privacy of the voting booth. Even as polling data shows growing support for same-sex marriage, voters keep saying no to constitutional amendments that would allow it.  The culture keeps saying it’s ok, but deep down it just doesn’t feel right.

We can and should attach reasons to that feeling.

But what happens when our biblical reasoning doesn’t get much traction in a culture biased against religion? We shouldn’t abandon biblical arguments, but we can show that the Bible’s position is well supported by historical experience and cultural practice.

Here are a few ideas:

Marriage came first, before governments and before religions. Thousands of years of experience have shown it to be good for society. When governments undermine marriage, however, the results are bad for society – alarmingly so. When states passed laws allowing “no-fault” divorce in the early 1970s, we were promised it wouldn’t affect other marriages and that the kids would be just fine.

That was a lie. No-fault divorce taught an entire generation that permanence in marriage is optional. The divorce rate rose immediately, and now, fewer adults are choosing to marry at all. And 40 years of research have proved that children are badly hurt by divorce.

The primary reason we have marriage is that it binds together the private dimension of sex and romance with the public dimension of parental responsibility. Once you separate marriage and parenting, there is no reason to have marriage any more.

Social trends like divorce have been pulling these dimensions apart, making marriage more and more about the private satisfaction of adults, and less and less about public responsibilities to children. Same-sex marriage takes the final step: marriage will become an entirely private affair stripped of its inherent public functions born of the creation of family. Thus, marriage becomes hollow, a public institution that serves no public function. It’s no wonder people are losing respect for what was once a holy, sacred estate.

Marriage is not to be entered into lightly or unadvisedly, the traditional wedding ceremony says. Nor should marriage be so unadvisedly redefined.

Mark Warnock is associate pastor of First Baptist Church of Columbia, Ill., and a Ph.D. student at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.